Home > Resources > Meditations > A Three Minute Reset Before a Difficult Conversation
Before a conversation you are dreading, whether that is a performance review, a conversation with a partner, or a call you have been putting off, three minutes spent settling your attention can change how the first two minutes of the actual conversation go.
A 2021 randomised controlled trial published in the journal Mindfulness compared short, five-minute mindfulness practices with longer twenty-minute sessions and found the shorter practices were at least as effective, and on some measures more effective, at reducing stress and anxiety across four sessions. Brief practice is not a lesser version of meditation, it is a different tool for a different amount of time.
This is not about arriving at the conversation calm and unaffected. It is about arriving with enough space to listen to the first sentence properly, instead of already rehearsing your reply. If what is ahead of you is a decision or a meeting rather than a conversation, there is a grounding practice for that moment too.
This is not about arriving at the conversation calm and unaffected. It is about arriving with enough space to listen to the first sentence properly, instead of reacting before it is finished.
Written by Storme Brand, HPCSA Registered Counsellor, Reg. PRC0023531, practising from Jeffreys Bay since 2012. Last reviewed 11 July 2026. This handout is general information and not a substitute for counselling.
If difficult conversations are a recurring source of dread rather than an occasional event, it may be worth talking that through properly. You can read more about anxiety counselling, or get in touch, there’s no obligation to book.
No, and that is not the goal. This is not about arriving calm and unaffected, it is about arriving with enough space to listen to the first sentence properly instead of reacting before it is finished.
A 2021 randomised controlled trial published in the journal Mindfulness compared short, five-minute practices with longer twenty-minute sessions and found the shorter practices were at least as effective, and on some measures more effective, across four sessions.
Right before the conversation, somewhere private if you can find it. Even a bathroom or a stairwell for three minutes is enough.
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References
Strohmaier, S., Jones, F.W., & Cane, J.E. (2021). Effects of length of mindfulness practice on mindfulness, depression, anxiety, and stress: A randomised controlled experiment. Mindfulness, 12, 198–214. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-020-01512-5
