There is a particular kind of loneliness that comes with living far from home – not the dramatic kind, but the quieter kind that accumulates. The jokes that do not land. The references that need explaining. The way grief, humour and anxiety in South Africa have a specific texture that does not translate easily to a GP in London or a therapist in Amsterdam who has never been there.
I am a South African registered counsellor based in Jeffreys Bay. I work with South Africans in the United Kingdom, the Netherlands, Germany, Ireland, Belgium and across Europe every week. You do not need to explain the context of your South African life to me from the beginning – I already know it. We can start with what is actually going on.
One of the most practical advantages of working with a South African counsellor is the time zone. South Africa runs on SAST (UTC+2) year-round – no daylight saving. The UK is one to two hours behind, and most of continental Europe is zero to one hour behind, depending on the season.
What this means in practice: a session at the start of the South African working day falls comfortably before the UK or European working day begins. An end-of-day session in South Africa lands at mid-afternoon or early evening in Europe. The overlap is generous – significantly better than trying to book with a counsellor in Australia or the Americas.
Most of my European clients find a regular time that works without any difficulty. We sort this out in our first WhatsApp conversation before anything is booked.
The United Kingdom has one of the largest South African communities outside South Africa itself. Whether you arrived recently or have been in the UK for years, the experience of being South African in Britain carries its own particular weight.
Some of it is practical: the weather, the cost of living, the NHS and its waiting lists, the question of whether to apply for citizenship or keep the option of returning open. Some of it is more personal: the guilt of having left, the complicated feelings toward people who stayed, the sense that you are not quite from here but not quite from there either.
These are not things that need to be contextualised for me. They are part of almost every conversation I have with South African clients in the UK.
Processing the decision to emigrate – including ambivalence that does not go away
Managing relationships with family and friends in South Africa – the distance, the guilt, the obligation
Anxiety about crime, safety and South African politics – the hypervigilance that often follows people when they leave
Building a life in the UK that feels like a real life, not a temporary arrangement
Depression or low mood that was not expected once the initial excitement of the move settled
Relationship strain between partners who are adjusting to the move at different rates
South Africa and the Netherlands share a history that is complicated and deep. For many South Africans, the Netherlands occupies a particular place – familiar in language fragments, in names, in certain family trees – and yet also genuinely foreign in culture and climate. That combination can make the experience of living there both easier and stranger than expected.
The South African community in the Netherlands has grown significantly over the past decade. Dutch immigration has been a popular route for South Africans with qualifying ancestry or qualifications, and the community in cities like Amsterdam, Rotterdam, The Hague and Eindhoven is well established.
Afrikaans and Dutch are closely enough related that South Africans often find themselves partially understood — which can be both a comfort and a source of confusion. English is widely spoken in the Netherlands, which removes one barrier. But cultural belonging is a different thing from being understood linguistically, and it takes time to build.
Navigating Dutch culture – directness, work-life norms, and social conventions that differ significantly from South African life
The specific experience of Dutch ancestry or roots and what that means emotionally
Isolation in a country where people are friendly but not easily intimate
The practical stresses of immigration bureaucracy, housing costs and integration
Relationships with South African family across an eight to nine hour time difference
I also work with South African clients in Germany, Ireland, Belgium, Switzerland, Spain and elsewhere across Europe. The time zone difference is similar across the continent – usually no more than one to two hours from South Africa – and sessions can almost always be arranged at a mutually convenient time.
If you are in a European country not mentioned here, please get in touch. The process is the same regardless of where in Europe you are based.
My practice centres on trauma – including the kind that does not announce itself as trauma. Emigration involves more loss than most people anticipate: loss of familiarity, of community, of identity, of the version of yourself that existed in a specific place. That loss does not have a name that feels serious enough to bring to a therapist, which is part of why it goes unaddressed for so long.
I work with clients on:
Trauma and its effects – including the hypervigilance that often follows South Africans who have experienced crime
Anxiety, including the low-level chronic kind that becomes the background of daily life
Depression – including the high-functioning version that colleagues and family do not notice
Grief and loss – of people, of places, of the life that was left behind
Relationship difficulties – with partners, with family in South Africa, with the social landscape of a new country
Identity and belonging – the question of who you are when you are no longer in the place that shaped you
Sessions are 60 minutes via Zoom. We agree a time via WhatsApp before anything is booked – this ensures the time zone is correct and the session is right for your situation. Payment is made by credit or debit card online before each session, invoiced in South African Rand (ZAR). Please see my latest pricing.
Send me a WhatsApp on +27 79 019 8437 to introduce yourself and let me know what you are looking for. Please mention where in the UK or Europe you are based so we can sort out a session time that works. There is no obligation in reaching out. For more information on Online Counselling, please see this page.
Sessions are scheduled in South African Standard Time (SAST, UTC+2). When we agree a time via WhatsApp, I will confirm both the SAST time and your local time to make sure there is no ambiguity. SAST does not observe daylight saving, so the offset between South Africa and the UK changes slightly between summer and winter – this is worth noting when booking a regular slot.
South African medical aid benefits are generally not accessible from abroad for ongoing international expenses. You can pay per session and receive a full invoice with ICD10 codes, but whether your fund will process a claim from an overseas account is something to check directly with your medical aid.
Yes. Many of my clients have been abroad for five, ten or more years. The experience of long-term emigration – the way South Africa becomes both smaller and more intense in your imagination over time – is something I work with regularly. You do not need to have left recently for this to be relevant.
For most situations, yes. Research consistently shows comparable outcomes for online and in-person counselling. The additional benefit in your situation is cultural context – a counsellor who already understands the South African background to your experience is likely to be more effective than a local therapist who needs that context explained, regardless of the medium.
